What Are the Best Dad Jokes Ever Told?

Everyone knows what a dad joke is when they hear one. Sure, you may find them funny or you may find them cringeworthy (or a little of both), but you’ll get a kick out of them every time. Do dads have these jokes ready to go or do they make them up on the spot? Who knows!

What we do know is that wholesome, cheesy dad humor is here to stay. Do you want to enjoy some classics? Do you want to add some to your joke repertoire? You’ll be sure to find what you need below. All of these jokes are family-friendly and you’ll be sure to inspire some groans out of your own family with the best dad jokes ever told.

Food Jokes

Dads love food, so of course, they’re going to have some jokes ready to go with their steaks. These are some of the best two-liners you can whip out at a moment’s notice.

What did the baby corn say to its mom? Where’s my popcorn?
When potatoes have babies, what are they called? Tater tots.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it downhill.
Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
What did one blueberry say to the other blueberry? If you weren’t so sweet, we wouldn’t be in this jam.

Marriage Jokes

There’s always a place for humor in a relationship. Life can be tough and sharing some jokes here and there can help brighten up the day. Poking fun at marriage and relationships is a staple of dad jokes, but be warned: you may need to buy your wife some flowers after this.

Marriage is a great institution if someone needs to be institutionalized.
Marriage is like a hot bath: after you’ve been in it a while, it ain’t so hot!
We’ve been married for 45 wonderful years – 52 total.
My wife prefers to take the stairs, but I always take the elevator. I guess we were just raised differently.
Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Children Jokes

No one can escape the blunt edge of a dad joke – not even their kids. These jokes will make you laugh, giggle, and cringe all at the same time.

What did the daddy buffalo say to his son when he left for work? Bison.
Kid: Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses? Dad: No son, have you seen my dad glasses?
Son, you were adopted. Now pack up, your new parents will pick you up in 20 minutes.
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette, but it went in one ear and out the other.
A man is washing his car with his son. After a while, the boy says to his dad, “why can’t we just use a sponge?”

Animal Jokes

Dogs are man’s best friend, right? And what good is a friend if they can’t take a joke? Whether you’re looking for a pet or an animal at the zoo, you’ll be sure to find a dad joke just around the corner.

Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump.
Do you know what’s smarter than a talking bird? A spelling bee!
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.
How do you count cows? With a cowculator.

Travel Jokes

A family get-together during the holidays is the perfect time for dads to try out their silly jokes. When else are they going to have that many people as an audience?

What happens when you wear a watch on a plane? Time flies.
Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? It was overbooked.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel? They had great broom service.
What does Santa Claus do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz!
Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado.

Getting Old Jokes

Everyone gets older, but that doesn’t mean you can’t laugh about it. If you’re feeling down about your age, a good dad joke can bring your spirits up and make you feel better about yourself.

My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. For some reason, she woke up bald and with a bad attitude
It’s no joke getting older… First, your memory gets worse. Then your hearing gets worse. Then your eyesight gets worse. Then your memory gets worse.
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people sure don’t.

Hobby Jokes

Doing something is better than doing nothing, which is why hobbies exist. Whether you like to go fishing, run a fantasy football league, or collect stamps, there’s a hobby for every dad around – and they’re quick to joke about them, too.

I exercise religiously. I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don’t think about it again for the rest of the week.
The frisbee industry will probably die one day, but boomerangs will always make a comeback.
I defeated a chess grandmaster in three moves: I stood up, picked up a chair, and hit him with it.
What are you likely to catch when you go ice fishing? A cold.
I’ve never gone to a gun range before, so I decided to give it a shot!

Money Jokes

Money doesn’t grow on trees, but it sure increases if you invest it right. Whether you love it or hate it, money is all around us – and dads are ready to make fun of their finances no matter how much (or how little) they have.

If money started growing on trees, what season would become everyone’s favorite? Fall.
When does it start raining money? When there’s change in the weather.
Why is money also called dough? Well, because every person kneads it.
How can you become rich by eating? By eating fortune cookies.
Did you hear about an ATM that got addicted to money? Heard it was suffering from withdrawals.

Working Jokes

Thanks to social media, there are many people that share their working ethic and career goals worldwide. But at the end of the day, work is work. Some people love it while others hate it. If you hate your job or are just having a boring workday, then one of these two-liners is sure to lift your spirits.

I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise. My boss asked “what companies?” Gas, water and electricity company.
I got a job at a paperless office. Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.
My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke. So I put my paycheck as the first slide.
Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? They took a day off.
Boss: How is it that you are always sick on weekdays? Me: It’s my weekend immune system.

DIY Jokes

Being a dad and working on DIY projects go hand in hand. Whether your dad likes to do household carpentry or is simply trying to save a couple of bucks, these jokes are the perfect mix of funny and cheesy to cushion his working spirit.

I just got back from the funeral of my neighbor who died after falling off his roof when fixing his TV antenna. The funeral was sad, but the reception was excellent.
My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances. Well, she’s in for a shock.
Fixing a door myself proved to be rather difficult. I could never quite get the handle on it.
Who collects the souls of people who die while fixing things? The Grim Repair.
When I’m fixing my house, I take out my step ladder… because I don’t know my real ladder.